Hello,
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So I've been reading lots of posts about people being complete losers. What I mean by that is, no girls, no money, no lifestyle, no health, no happiness.
You guys are f***ing losers. It's time for a change.
If you don't know me, I'm a cool ass African American (I'm not actually black).
I f*** tons of girls, I have money working for me (I don't work), I have awesome friends, I'm pretty fit and I travel pretty often which is what I like. I'm also an intern for RSD. Oh and I'm 21, and I used to be a loser just like you.
So if you are a complete loser in all areas of life and want a cool ass life in 1 year from now, 2 years from now, you need to start doing the following:
1. Move to a cheap city with a good weather, good night life and good working opportunity. Have a place with your own room near the bars and clubs. No suburb BS or shitty city.
2. Make good friends that like to go out and that encourage or pick up girls with you. I don't care if they are faggots with no game. They have to be good friends, you have to love them, and you need to go out with them.
3. Start going out minimum 4 nights a week. All night. You don't count the number of sets you open. Its a marathon, not a sprint. You open all night until you leave, and you leave when the bar closes and there is no more girls on the street. Don't go out alone and do 4 approaches. That shit doesn't work. Make friends. Beast all night.
4. Money: Start working on your money situation. Make money with a job, and invest your money into passive income streams. You will need to learn and specialize in one or a few income streams. Passive income are things like Websites (internet marketing), Buildings, Laundry mats, Vending machines, TVs with ads, Stocks, a business that you own, etc. You need to learn and specialize. And you need a f***ing job first to invest your money. Work at Mc Donald's if you don't have education I don't care. Live cheaply. No iphones, no blazers, no cars, nothing. You invest all the money you can and you eat rammens.
5. Read self help books, especially the ones recommended by the pua community. Those books will teach you game alone. Don't hang out on forums the only people giving advice on there don't get laid. Don't read pua ebooks, they only want to make money and they don't know shit. You want to be reading at least 10 books a year.
6. Work out and eat healthy. Do crossfit or P90X or anything you want. You need to get in shape. Getting laid isn't fun unless you are in shape. You don't want to die young. You want to be healthy. Its so important. Work out at least 3 times a week and more depending on what you do. If you need to lose weight, eat healthy and stop over eating and drinking (alchool and coke) you fat f***.
7. Start meditating. At least 20 minutes a day. Meditation will make your game 1000 times better. Brad does it. I don't know why it works. It just does. It's magical.
8. At some point take an RSD bootcamp. It will fix some of your game problem and make you get laid more.
9. Forget about TV, computer games, masturbating, eating donuts and all the things you think are fun. They are not fun. They are making you more of a loser every single day.
That's all. That's my life. Do that for a couple of years and you'll be a very rich, very successful and very happy man.
I think almost everyone has something weird or creepy or not calibrated about them when they are picking up chicks.
And I think if you really want to be successful at this you need to be able to see it. You need to be able to see the emotion that you make the girls feel. This is something that Jeff talks about in his bootcamp.
An example is like Alex in the video that got leaked. I've never met Alex but in this video he is way over self amusing and high energy and it's just the way he is. But if you remember he tells the girl something like "Ok maybe you think this is a little weird but I was conceived to this song and I really feel the love right now". And throughout the video he keeps making references to other men in australia being pussies and that he doesn't like that.
So the girl is kind of weirded out by this strange man that just came and talked to her, but she can rationalize that he is like that because of what he said and that it's normal. So she is not creeped out anymore and she can fully enjoy Alex's good sides even if they are outside of her reality.
But does he have to do it with all the girls? I don't think so, I think some of them will just fully love him when he's like that. They wont even question it they'll think that shit is normal.
So if he didn't calibrate his approach by saying that stuff then he would only pull chicks that love that side of him and don't judge it.
So some girls will love that side of you that is different or uncalibrated, but you will end up losing a lot of them fast unless you see it, and calibrate it to the girl.
This is why people that game like robot just spitting things at girls (whether is was a routine, improvised shit or caveman kino) suck at picking up chicks. They are just going through the moves without looking at how they make the women feel. This is something that Jeff talks about in his posts and bootcamps so I didn't pull it out of nowhere.
Yes you need to ignore the shit test, but you cant ignore what they feel.
I'll never reply logically to a woman's "You're creepy". But if I feel she is creeped out I will proactively do something to change it. That is the difference. If she says it she's testing you. If she feels it it's different, she's not testing you, that's how you're making her feel and she will probably leave soon unless you do something.
How it works for me is that I always get way too close to them too quickly and talk in their ears and hold their waist.
Some girls love that shit. Some girls think it's creepy as fuck. So with the girls that think it's creepy I make some kind of rationalization for them like "Oh Im sorry Im from Canada and this is my first day here Im really excited." Could be anything it's just the one I've been using this week.
So the fact that I can get away with being so close to them so quickly it's so powerful because maybe she gets comfortable around me quickly, or turned on or she rationalizes that she likes me or I dunno. Same with Alex, the fact that he can get away with being so self amusing and spitting so many words, Im sure it helps him a lot, Im not sure how lol but whatever.
Anyway I hope this makes sense, this is something that is not talked about very often here and I think it's massively important. Jeff refers to it as "Riding the emotionnal wave". I think it's important that there is an expression for it so that people put a label on the concept and internalize it.
I just had the biggest realization ever.
You know when Ryan talks about cognitive congruence? Well it's all good to understand it and acknowledge that it's important, but yesterday I just realized that I have been experiencing it, a lot. And that it makes a huge difference in my ability to pick up girls.
First of all what is cognitive congruence? I'm not sure exactly but what it means to me is the way you act all day will influence the way you act at night when you go pick up. For example if in your life every time you interact with a human being you kind of shy away and ignore them, chances are when you go out at night it will not be easy to switch to confident and talkative mode. So your brain (cognitive) wouldn't be "congruent".
One thing that I've noticed for months now is that if I don't chill I can't pick up chicks. I mean I can go talk to them. I can touch them. I can make them laugh. But it will never go anywhere. I will never get any girl to actually like me. If I don't chill, I have zero game. If you're new to this you might look at me and think I have "alright" game because I'm approaching and getting reactions and getting my mouth moving. But if you look deeper I'm never building anything. If you look deeper I have no game.
Sometimes I'll hit up the bar and I'll just be in a natural chill state. I'll talk slow. I'll walk slow. When I meet a girl I'll just feel super comfortable with myself and enjoy the moment with her and it will totally work between us. Then I'll be like "OMG I have so much game, Im just chilling all the time and all these girls want me." Guys would ask me "Dave, how do you this, how to do that..." and I would just tell them to chill. They looked at me confused. Some of them told me they couldn't.
Then every once in a while I would go out to the bar and I can't chill. So I go up to girl, start talking to her and my mouth starts moving by itself, spitting crap. I grab the girl and try to take her somewhere even if it's too early, then I give up because I can't just chill and hang out there. I CAN'T! Then I take a pause and I'm like what is this, just chill Dave, you chill all the time, let's do it. Then I go talk to another girl. Can't chill! Again! What the hell. I was very confused by this behavior of mine for a long time. Until I met this Spanish dude.
Basically, one of my friends friend is from Tempa. And he is some kind of Spanish gangster. He talks like a gangster. He walks like a gangster. He calls women "hoes". Anyway you can imagine. So I meet him and he's just talking really slow and taking his time and walking really slow. It's just the way he is. He's always chilling in my definition of chilling. Anyway we met up before going to the bar with all my friends and I didn't think anything of it except that he was gangster and that I like gangsters lol.
Then I noticed throughout the night that every time he would go talk to a girl, he would keep chilling. He would just talk really slow and walk really slow and hang out and be chilling. He didn't have that much game but I'm sure he gets laid every once in a while, especially if he went out more. He was just chilling, making eye contact and listening to what the girl says while having a funny, sexual and low energy conversation. Then I was like, "damn this guy is like me when I'm being good."
At the end of the night, no one pulled any chick. I actually only talked to a few girls because I was to frustrated by my inability to chill and I knew it wouldn't go anywhere because I couldn't chill. Every time I went up to a girl I just kept spitting words and trying to lead her (that might sound good but trust me there MUST be chilling in between lol). F---ing Orlando I don't like it here and it messes with my head. So like I was saying, no one pulled that night and we were just hanging out after and still Spanish gangster is just chilling and enjoying life and he's just like "tonight was fun, I talked to a lot of hoes" in his gangster accent. I was quite envious of him at that moment and understood how others felt around me when I was being chill all the time. But why couldn't I be????
Then it hit me. Cognitive congruence. This guy is chill all the time, so how hard can it be for him to be chill when he goes to the bar to talk to women. Pretty damn easy. He doesn't have to change a thing. If you actually asked this guy to be a dancing monkey, I'm sure he would find it really difficult. Then I realized that when I have a very easy time to be chill is when I am chill all the time. When I had just come from my 10 days meditation retreat I was chill all the time because I had just spent 10 days chilling and meditating. I took my time to do everything because that's what I was used to doing. When you're at a meditation retreat, you can't do anything so even when you take a walk it's like a great event, you don't rush it because there's nothing to do afterward.
Also when I was in Montreal I was getting laid a lot and hanging out with girls a lot so during those times I was chilling all the time. Also I didn't work on my computer as much as I've been doing here which to me is an anti chill because when I work I always try to rush things and do 10000000 things at a time. So to me, if I chill in my everyday life, even when I'm walking to the toilet to take a piss or eating my bowl of cereal. If I do those things slowly and in a chill way. Which to a lot of you would refer to as "being in the moment" while doing them, then when I go out at night it will be super easy to be chill and pick up the ladies.
So if you have some kind of state of mind or something that helps you pick up girls (or helps your overall happiness), then you probably want to incorporate it in every moment of your life, this way it will be second nature to do it at the club and you will have lots of success.